Meanwhile the Bonds Baby Search has started for this year. What's that? Bonds make underwear and basic baby clothes. I love their baby onesies. Why? Because I'm a little OCD. Bonds is more expensive than say Kmart brand but there's one big difference. If you have two onesies, both striped, one a six dollar one from Kmart, one a twenty five dollar one by Bonds, what's the biggest difference? If any of the stripes match at the seams on the Kmart one, it's purely accidental. With the Bonds onesie all of the stripes will match up on the separate pattern pieces at the seams. I love that! Of course, that's not enough for the Giant Husband to be willing to spend the extra money on Bonds but at the moment almost all of the Giant Baby's onesies are Bonds because almost nobody else makes onesies larger than a size 0 and he's a size 1 now.
Every year Bonds holds an Australia wide "Baby search", where people submit photos of their babies and the winners get the chance to be in Bonds advertisements for the next year. It's not something to be taken seriously, it's a bit of fun and free models and publicity for Bonds. And if you have a kid under three, you enter them, because that's just what you do. But you don't expect them to win. Mainly because there are roughly 60,000 kids entered so the odds are not stacked in your favour.
The Baby Search has come under some criticism over the last few years. People complain that the "People's choice" section, which is based on Facebook votes, is just a popularity contest. I'm not arguing with that. It is. Anything that involves Facebook is a popularity contest. But I don't think it's something to complain about. And more realistically, from the point of view of the company, it's a way of making the general public feel like they're involved without actually giving them any real control.
The far bigger complaint is that it's "a beauty contest for babies." I'm definitely not going to argue with that. But I also don't have a problem with it. They're babies. What else can you judge them on? Their knowledge of Cold War era Eastern European politics? I have no problem with the concept that kids should be judged on achievement rather than looks. But these are babies. They shouldn't know that they're entered in the competition at all, much less whether they win or not. Quite frankly if someone has told their toddler that they're in this competition, whether or not they've won and explained it often enough that the child understands and feels inadequate because they haven't won . . . that sounds like a messed up situation but to me that sounds more like some pretty messed up parenting than an evil contest. And even the concept of rewarding achievement is weird to me. As a kid, I won a lot of certificates at school, but from the age of eight or nine, I was aware that I wasn't trying anywhere near as hard as the other kids. So, is that fair? Giving awards based on who did it best rather than who tried the hardest? Also, at the end of the day, if I was going to not win something, I would much rather a looks based contest "Sorry, you weren't the prettiest." to a personality based contest "Sorry, we all think you're a jerk."
Anyway, rant over, the point was that the Giant Baby needed a photo to enter the contest. I planned on taking one specially. Except by the time I found out about it, he was sick. At the moment, it's not easy to photograph the baby. He doesn't sit still any more and now if I put up a backdrop he just rips it down. I tried for a week to take a decent photo of him, but it just wasn't working. In the end I gave up and used a photo I had taken just before the competition started. I was about to enter him when the Giant Husband reminded me there was a video section this year and said he'd like me to enter the baby in that too.
I've never filmed anything before but I kind of assumed it would be the same as taking photos. No. Only needed a few seconds of footage but getting the baby to face the camera for more than a heartbeat was difficult. For photos I hold a digi-bird where I want him to look. That didn't work. It's ok for a still shot but with video, it meant I had a lot of footage of the baby smiling, then screeching because he wanted me to give him the digi-bird. Tried putting the digi-bird away, and got a lot of footage of the baby throwing himself at the poor dog, with my voice in the background saying "Let go of the dog!"
In the end I got some ok footage by putting the tablet on the floor with the forward facing camera on and a digi-bird on the floor in front of it. Then came the nightmare of editing the footage down to fifteen seconds so I could put it on Instagram. I didn't think that would be a problem. My copy of Photoshop Elements came with Premiere Elements which is video editing software. Which I have never used before, have no idea how to use and nearly had a nervous breakdown using. Firstly it rotated all my videos ninety degrees and I couldn't work out how to rotate them back and then I don't know the file formats for videos so it took me ten thousand years by trial and error to find a format to save it in that both my tablet and then Instagram would recognise! I am definitely sticking to still photos from now on.
So, the Giant Baby is entered. I have possibly taken putting his entry together a little too seriously but that was more because I didn't want people thinking I had done a half-arsed job of it than actually expecting him to win. As there are already ten thousand kids entered just in his section (boys in his age group) I think I would actually fall off my chair and probably need a doctor, if he was even shortlisted.
And now that that's all done and we're both nearly better, it's time for me to get back to work and finish this sunsuit.
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